At that time, she was feeling like this:
Our way of thinking won’t be the mainstream.
Beelationship might exist quietly in the society or could be the antithesis of the social atmosphere at a maximum.
However, a sense of home, which is often created by well-trained motherhood in any gender, exists in this world and it is quite important.
Therefore, Beelationship would like to make it recognizable, tangible and visible as much as it can.
It is also for us because we don’t want to freeze our hearts again nor to be as good as dead.
However, Beelationship was not only far away from the ideal situation, but also standing on the edge of a precipice: Hachi, at first, faced unfamiliar languages, such as CSS, PHP or Java.
Confusion and working late at night often made Hachi’s body cold.
When she went to bed, the song below often echoed through her head.
Actually, it did not cheer her up.
It made her impatient as if it was telling her this:
“You can stay alive even if you ignore your deepest hope.
However, you will regret when you lost a possibility to sprout.
Then, you will ask yourself ‘why didn’t I work on that? I knew I had to.’ “
After a while, Beelationship Studio emerged.
After a few sessions, Ito and Hachi immersed theirselves into creation: making a pattern by themselves and creating stuffs which made the flow of daily life smoother, or Ito remembered she used to be a tailor and worked late at night.
Their interaction also caused sort of entangled passion for creation and concentration became deeper.
That was what they needed the most.
After Ito and Hachi went back to each home, Hachi had a sudden urge to listen to the song.
When she listened to the song, she cried, then she washed the dishes or brought in the laundry.
Then again, she had the urge to listen to it and cried, even though she started to realize that crying made her exhausted.
She repeated that almost all day.
Perhaps, the tension over the several years started to be relieved.
After Hachi became calm, she realized she was in two minds about sharing the song with Ito.
She had no idea what would happen after she shared the song, so that she was afraid to do so.
Eventually, Hachi decided to share it with Ito in order not to regret later.
However, she was still twisted.
When Hachi met Ito, Hachi said to Ito that “This song MIGHT express my feeling!!“, and then, played music.
Hachi was so shy (tried not to cry in front of Ito) that she became like a teenager in a rebellious phase.
After they struggled to find the right volume to listen to it, Ito got the meaning of the song and understood what Hachi tried to say.
Ito often prepares a cup of Amasake by herself, but she said to Hachi that “I feel like drinking a cup of Amasake”, and grinned at Hachi as if she wanted to be spoiled.
Sometimes people try to keep moving forward, just looking at the future, forgetting what made us or someone who represents a sense of home.
It is not unusual.
However, we might sometimes need to step out of Chronos in order to remember someone supported you.
Expressing the deepest gratitude might be one of the most precious time in our lives.
The song reminds Hachi of that.
The song below is in Japanese.
Hachi translated the lyrics below and hopes you to listen to it.
Lyrics Yuka Kawamura. (2011) Okaeri ga Omamori (My Charm is a Sense of Home you have created) . EMI Music Japan.
There seems to be no official translation.
Therefore, this translation is Beelationship version.
Dinner has been ready.”
Your smile brings back some good memories.
You always understand me even though I say nothing.
When things did not work well,
I once lost hope.
I was about to give up halfway.
Your existence and atmosphere are always my charm.
Whenever I lost hope, you encouraged me, saying “you will find your path” again and again.
“When you cannot see the slight light even though you tired hard,
get back home anytime.”
Your encouragement supported me and protected me.
That was the very reason why I was able to walk my path.
I did not realize that the river, which brings back good memories, was narrower than I thought.
I did not realize how fast the time flew.
Things which never changed are the smell of the shore
and the never ending sky.
I am going back in my childhood.
I found my dream, and worked hard towards my dream.
Yet the only thing I saw was the future,
forgetting the place my deepest heart close around.
The place was the very reason why I was able to keep walking my path.
Whenever I say so, I have to hold back tears.
I desire to tell you my deepest gratitude again and again.
Someday, I hope to be someone like you, who can hold your sorrow and tears.
Let me express my deepest gratitude to you, and to a sense of home you have created.